But today is different. This day shook my life, a life without the slightest tinge of variety, to an intensity that would surely make a mark in the history of my life as a student. A roller-coaster, if a metaphor would describe it clearer, as it went from a complete disaster to an ego booster.
The day started early, as I woke up and went to the shower half-heartedly at 6:30 am. My practical exam is at 8. And since "a little help from my friends" was badly needed, I went to school an hour earlier to practice all that brouhaha. To make the long story short, I was eager to nail it, not to mention I've studied all night (which was stupid cause you don't really study theories for a practical exam, that's why it's called practical, smart ass) and I went to school early to brainstorm with my bloc mates. But in the end, voila! Instead of nailing it, I screwed it. And there goes the story of my first failed practical exam. But wait, there's more!
I went out of the testing room all sweaty and it's like my body weight, heavy as it already is, multiplied a thousand times over. The next batch of takers eagerly asked me how it went and all I could muster was "DAFUQ DAFUQ DAFUQ" and I'm not even talking to them, I'm talking to dead air. I can't vividly describe how "lutang" I was as I leaned on the restroom's wall, as a shoulder wasn't wide enough to carry my burden at that moment, and as others rambled about their grades as well. Good thing I was not the only one. Three of my also lutang friends accompanied me to the nearby korean store and I whole-heartedly devoured 2 orders of Korean ice cream (I'm guessing it's called Shamang? It's vanilla ice cream sandwiched in red beans and ostia-like edible thingy) and ate a full meal at Kenny Roger's. And alas, it came to me that getting over a failed exam is pretty darn expensive. But man, food, I must say, is the best way to get over anything. Take it from me, the piggiest of pigs in the pigathon planet (what am I even saying here). But when we went back to the campus, we discovered that some of my bloc mates were even more lutang than us as they were laughing like drunk-men over a silly game of Pinoy Henyo. To quote how the guessing game went - "English word ba to?" "oo! oo!" "PATATAS?" and that, ladies and gentlemen, is a true manifestation of epic sabawness.
But because that's how support groups work for us, not through a bunch of used tissues and a truckload of tears, I was able to get over what has happened earlier as we went through our afternoon class, the most interesting class of all *insert sarcasm here*. But as they always say, the pain and negativity hovers upon you in solitude. True as it is, as I reached home and sat in my beloved green desk, I remembered how stupid and "walangkwents" the effort I put in this exam as it went fishy-flushy down the drain with a solid 64% mark and my doubts about my capabilities went flickering in my drained brain all over again - just like it used to. And since I can't stay depressed for too long, I watched a few episodes of HIMYM until at about 11 pm (an hour ago) just to gather myself together and put myself to sleep. Thank God it worked - just as it used to.
But as I was about to turn off my laptop, rest my worries and go to sleep...
An Email. . .
And that's how my ego went high up in the sky.
And I said to myself, the next time I doubt myself again, I will remember this day. February 24, 2012, and that I should, and never would, ever think less of what I truly am.
Good night, self. Good night, mortals.
Thursday, February 23, 2012 @ 7:37 AM / 0 daisies
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